Dating and seeking islamic buddy
The classic example is the nerd developing a crush on the cheerleader without knowing anything about her; he’s built up this elaborate fantasy about who she is and what she’s “really” into without any regard for reality.
It’s easy to assume that once you’ve made it past that initial hump – building a cool wardrobe, getting over your approach anxiety and generally learning how to connect with potential dates – that it’s all smooth sailing from there. One of the things I hear about regularly from my readers – both here and over at my column at Kotaku – are people who keep experiencing what’s known as “the fade away” or “ghosting”.
At the same time, fetishizing someone for their interests doesn’t help either; just because you’re both geeks doesn’t mean that you’re actually compatible.
Compatibility goes beyond the surface; it’s about how well your mesh up.
There’s practicing restraint in hopes of making sure that you don’t cross a line or push too hard and then there’s being hands off that you’re coming across as a potential BFF instead of someone who they might want to tear the clothes off later.
One of the mistakes that people make on dates is that they let the chemistry just It becomes a sort of “sexual-desire-as-fate” form of magical thinking; if the chemistry is just “not there”, then clearly it’s not meant to be.