Christiandating survey puberty dating
Here’s the hard and fast truth about virgins and virginity: it’s a completely cultural construct.
When you strip away all of the value placed on sex and sexuality and look at it with an unemotional eye, virginity is a lack of a particular physical experience.
Women on the other hand are taught that their sexual desirability has a built in expiration date; pass a specific point and nobody will have want to have sex with you, not when they could bang someone younger instead.
This gets especially caught up in the (admittedly old-fashioned) idea of women being an “old maid” if they haven’t found a partner or spouse by an equally random age.
The fear for guys is that by being a virgin past this nebulous date, they will have not only missed their chance to sew their wild oats – because of course, nobody over the age of 35 has no-strings-attached sex but they will be so clearly marked as “damaged goods” that no woman would possibly want them.
They live in fear that no woman would want to have to “show them the ropes” and as a result, their lack of experience will leave them completely incapable of living up to the demands and expectations of a more-experienced partner; thus they have effectively aged out of the dating market and are doomed to die alone, unloved and having never been naked with a girl.
The fear of reaching is who is a virgin past a certain point – generally as soon as puberty hits, if we’re honest about it – is convinced that they’re on the cusp of reaching some nebulous “point of no return”.
That deadline – the idea we have to lose our virginity by X date or remain forever unfuckable – tends to vary; we tend to put undue importance on arbitrary dates because they carry totemic significance for us.
Anything you gain from sex was, ultimately, within you from the start. I can’t count the number of letters I’ve gotten from virgin readers, men and women of just about every age who have not had sex yet and are desperately afraid that they’re “too late”.Some may have had physical intercourse with another person – oral sex, mutual masturbation, possibly even anal sex – but consider themselves virgins because they’ve never had penile/vaginal sex.To be a virgin is no different, ultimately, from never having eaten Chinese food or having been to Disneyland.In fact, you could reasonably equate the two; more often than not, you wait for too damn long for a thrill that’s over in under 3 minutes and half the time you’re wondering what the big deal was.
A flawed article in an issue of Newsweek sent women into paroxysms of fear of spinsterhood when it claimed that women who weren’t married by 40 would be married and had better odds of being killed by terrorists.